"You going to Australia, man?"

"Yeah, why? Wanna come?"

"Like to, but I can't. I just wanted to give you some uh, points."

"Points?"

"Tips. Whatever. Just shut up and listen. Don't drink Fosters - the commercials lie, Australians hate that shit."

"Okay ..."

"But they love it when you ask if they have kangaroos and koalas in their back yard."

"I'm not an idiot, Jared."

"Keep telling yourself that, dude. And last tip. Use the word root a lot."

"Root?"

"Yeah, like. I'm going to root for the home team."

"Uh, okay?"

"You'll call when you get back?"

"I'll call before I'm back."

- and I'm going to stop before they get all schmoopy